Nightlife in Yangshuo

I have it on good authority that Yangshuo isn’t always like this. The national holiday has brought about 3 times the normal number of Chinese tourists, so place is a bit zooey. Everyone, it seems, want to be in Yangshuo this week. During the day, it’s not so bad. West Street, the main pedestrian thoroughfare, is kind of crowded, but many of the tourists head out of town to enjoy hiking, climbing and the other outdoor pursuits for which Yangshuo is famous. The town is still pleasant and relatively tranquil, perfect for strolling about, lounging under umbrellas at cafes and haggling with trinket vendors. At night, the place goes nuts, absolutely bat-guano loony. West Street after dark is 50% Bourbon Street, 50% Kings Island Midway and about 73% intoxicated. At about 9pm, the discos engage in what seems to be some ill-advised experiment to determine which is more likely to induce seizures in sane people: blaring great music over lousy speakers or blaring lousy music over great speakers. Invariably, the bars playing Dylan and old R.E.M. sound as if they’ve bought their speakers from Toccoa, Georgia’s stock-car racetrack, and the bars playing Brit’nay, InSync or their Chinese counterpart (truly scary) are equipped with state-of-the art, concert-quality (and volume) systems. If you don’t mind getting jostled and having to keep your hand on your money to thwart pickpockets, and if you’ve already lost your hearing, and are immune to the detrimental effects of hours upon hours of flashing lights, you might actually enjoy a Yangshuo nightclub. I only went because I had to. The Global Café is a decent little spot with passable margaritas and reliable internet connection. I still have to do a little business correspondence, so I sat down, ordered a drink and started chatting via instant messenger with the various people who were hanging about my office in Columbus. Unfortunately, I have video conferencing capabilities at my office and on my laptop, and I got to see my pastor, Jeff, lifting his t-shirt and flashing his hairy, Greek (as in ethnicity, not as in statuesque physique) chest and stomach at the camera while I was trying to talk with Jeremy. I could have gone a couple more weeks without seeing that. Oh, well. At any rate, I took care of all my emails, talked Megan and Kara out of jumping off the building, and gave everyone at the office the opportunity to hear the band and watch the light show. The band was loud, and not that great. Did I mention that the band was loud? After about 45 minutes, the show finally did the trick (I’m assuming the musicians are paid to drive away loiterers, non-intoxicated internet users and small waterfowl), and I headed down the street to MC Blues, another joint in town with wireless internet connection. I didn’t really want anything to eat or drink, so I sat down on the curb outside the restaurant. I opened up my computer, resumed my chat with Brian Estabrook and CRASH! a plate from the restaurant exploded on the pavement just inches from my feet. I assumed the dish had come from the balcony, accidentally knocked off the table by some careless and/or inebriated patron. As I was looking up to confirm the source of the flying saucer, CRASH! another plate hit the street. I shot a glance over at one of the nearby tables just in time to see a rather surly looking Chinese man pick up a bowl from the table and chuck it my direction. I closed my laptop, put it in my bag and jumped to my feet. I grabbed my flashlight (also useful as a bludgeon in times of distress) and stared, agape at the unhappy diner. A woman at the table was also very agitated. I thought she was probably ticked at the man for making such a scene, until she took an ice cream bowl and shattered it on the ground. “What on earth is your problem?” I exclaimed! The woman muttered something that sounded like “Slow service,” and the man put his hands on the table and acted like he was going to jump up and attack me. I took a step back, clenched the flashlight in my fist, and thought to myself, “If a fight breaks out, I think I can take him, but I’m not sure how many of these people are his friends.” Thankfully, a crowd had gathered, and the proprietor had emerged from the store. Other people in the street took up my task of berating the gentleman, and when I felt it was safe to turn my back, I walked into the bar, set up my laptop and finished my correspondences. I need to go out again tonight; with any luck I won’t have to hit anyone. Today’s our last full day in Yangshuo, and I don’t need a souvenir assault indictment to remember my stay. Peace.